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Studies show that parenting skills matter with both the
children. Here is an example to show you the difference. They
studied a particular family from the day the children were born and
Studies show that parenting skills matter with both the children. Here is an example to show you the difference. They studied a particular family from the day the children were born and followed up when they were in their 40s. The mother in this study was quite unhappy about the first child and delighted with the second one in spite of both the children being girls. The first child Anna was not welcomed by her mother because of her sex while the second child Suzie, was the perfect child her mother dreamed of in spite of being of the same sex as Anna.
This study brings out the effects of early childhood experiences with the immediate family and especially the mother can affect how the children later as adults look back at their childhood. These sisters reported completely different feeling about their childhoods which did not match the way they were brought up. Anna was neglected while Suzie was the favorite child. This would mean that Anna would grow up to be an adult with insecurity while Suzie grows up as an emotionally secure adult. But the results were the opposite. Anna turned out to be secure and she accepted her childhood and chose to form her own identity while Suzie felt insecure and continued to seek attention from everyone around her. Susie was dependent on her sister and eventually resented her mother as she was not allowed to form her own individual identity as a child because she was so focussed on being the child her mother wanted her to be so that she gets the attention from her mother that when she grew up she did not really know who she was. Anna, on the other hand, developed a sense of self very early and so was independent as an adult.
This shows how two sisters from the same mother can have completely different views of their childhood. This shows how parenting skills can matter.