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We are always told to be confident no matter what. But the
problem is how can you be confident about your new job when you
have never done that kind of work before? Or how can you be
confident in s...
We are always told to be confident no matter what. But the problem is how can you be confident about your new job when you have never done that kind of work before? Or how can you be confident in social situations when no one has ever liked you before?
This is the confidence conundrum, where in order to be happy or loved or successful, first you need to be confident; but then to be confident, first you need to be happy or loved or successful.
The answer to these questions lies in two things.
First, confidence is a state of mind which is not attached to a certain external feeling. For instance, there are people with perfect beach bodies who are not confident in their skin or some actors which are not confident about their popularity.
Secondly, because confidence is not linked to any external tangible factor it is most likely that making any sufficient change in your lifestyle won't guarantee you confidence. Like getting married, or getting promoted won't guarantee that you are confident about your relationships or job respectively.
Therefore, the solution to the confidence conundrum is not to feel as though you lack nothing and delude yourself into believing you already possess everything you could ever dream. The solution is to simply become comfortable with what you potentially lack.