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The simple act of meeting an acquaintance on the road feels
The simple act of meeting an acquaintance on the road feels so stressful. I never know what to speak. The words 'Hi, how are you?' seems to hide in the corners of my brain. I just freeze. I feel disturbed that someone broke my train of thoughts. My made-up world, my comfort place. Snapping back to reality feels absurd all of a sudden.
Then, there are days, where I am laughing and joking with my friends and their friends without an ounce of fear. Its short- lived though. I need a quiet time after so much of 'people time'. It gets exhausting after sometime. Wow! I really do live in my own world.
Then come the functions at home. I love meeting everyone, I laugh, I play with cousins, we talk for hours. Only till I reach a point. It gets exhausting after that. Too much noise. The loud laughter. Stuff thrown around everywhere. One of the many things I can't tolerate, loud noise in a dirty place. My nightmare. Like I am in a heightened sense of existence. The silence that exists after everyone leaves is too magical to disturb.
Its not like I don't try. I make a conscious effort to make sure I get out of my comfort zone. I make sure I talk to people even though one more word uttered by someone can make me go crazy. I have become much more interactive than I was. It's too tempting though, to go home and sleep , read a book or watch a quiet, slow movie. It's just another page from my life.